Perdoname for the lack of updates.  I suffered through my bi-annual throat virus thingamajobber all last week.  Still leaves me right on pace to have my december sickness blowout I get every year (last year’s was a doooooooooooozy.  right kristie?).

but I’m all well & good now.  and I missed workouts all last week, except for having eric drop by to pick up a check and cash it immediately re-sign for another package of sessions.

today was supposed to be the first.

5 minutes after my session was supposed to start I called him, and got that intense-fumbling/rustling-noise pickup symptomatic of the “oh shit you woke me up” answering of the phone.  thanks for oversleeping bonehead.  just his little way of saying “thanks for reupping your contract!”

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anyways, tonight is the first night of registration for “Lamz.”  I’m looking forward to spending my week working during the day, then heading into the studio each & every night thru Saturday.  And then next week I get to do it all over again once classes start.

I managed to book a flight for the surprise yet-to-be-named star coming in November.  The hotel was another matter.  As I suggested in the past, good luck with finding a 4 star hotel or better in b-more… good luck indeed.  Found only one near me, and I had to submit it to their manager for approval.

So far, the manager = cool.  But I think next time, I’m booking the person who was voted out the first week of the show.  Motel 6, and some gas money should take care of ‘em.

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I shall leave you with my senior year (high school!) photo.  Notice the small hair-wings on the side of my head?  Yeah, my hair was that long as of 2 weeks ago… and yes, I do look the same today, except for the fact 50% of the hair you see in the photo is now missing, receding, or gray.

I have found it.  The Holy Grail of eating ice cream, yet eating healthy.  Behold, I give you:  Arctic… Zeeeeerrrrrrrrroooooooooooooooo!!!!

the whole friggin’ pint is 128 calories.  have you ever tried to eat a pint in one sitting?  not as easy as it sounds.  ok not super hard, but still not easy.

i can’t remember how I found out about it, but I read some reviews and was prepared for the worst.  While some were glowing (these reviews are never planted by the company cough cough), others said it was icy, or flavorless.

I am glad to report to you that there is no difference between this, and regular ice cream.  (small tip: let it sit out a minute before eating so it softens up)

Of course, for $8 a pint (yeah, u read that right), it damn well better be good.

even better is they basically overnight or 2nd day air it with two huge blocks of dry ice.  I spent yesterday “overflowing” my kitchen sink with dry ice smoke (with vid to prove it, how sad is that)…  before throwing the leftover chunks of ice into little bowls of water to watch it boil… or whatever it’s doing (i had the most worthless chemistry teacher ever.  turns out he was also into child porn as the local news reported a couple years back).

anyways, buy this shit if you can afford it.  it really is that good.  I tried the chocolate peanut butter, not my cup of tea, but it tastes like it should.  I have some orders of maple vanilla and strawberry banana on their way.

and if i only had more than 5 readers (gone up lately), i could probably get a free sample for the publicity.

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I figured out that my last hair cut was a week before recital.  which puts us at the first week in june.  That’s a crazy scary amount of time to go, especially for my hair.  Finally, after realizing what a hot mess i was (complete with 2 rat tails and wings of hair on each side) I broke down and did a very mediocre job cutting my hair.  Thankfully I put on a lengthy guard, so it’s still quite long.  I am holding out for that sportsclips/happyending place.

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my rents are cleaning out their house.  Which means I am getting lots of crap unloaded on to me, whether I want it or not.  However, we are talking a treasure trove of shit from school.  nearly every report card (confirming that I never got a full B for the year until 7th grade), and multiple superfit reports from gym haha, not to mention artwork and pictures (and oh my the pictures).

I’ll leave you with this little gem (clickety click) from preschool.  some photo of me finally getting brave enough to dunk my head under water.  I was 4 1/2.

Cute kid eh?  i know… what happened?!  (wait til you see my senior pics, insert “ROFLMAO” here).

(edit: yeah yeah, i know my full name is in there.  i figure if you wanna stalk me it isn’t that hard these days.  and i won’t resist if you’re hot.  but i do have a new address that you’ll never find and mapquest won’t have updated for years, so good luck with all that)

So brandee, God bless her, sent me this picture below.  Look at it again.  She was trying to spell out “JAMZ” with the fliers for our fall classes on the windows.

something tells me I have to get back in there, and soon.

and speakin’ of Lamz, I just signed the contract for a huge huge name from SYTYCD to come to the studio for a workshop in november.  Kinda funny the requirments and stuff… like I have to get this person a “4 star or better” hotel in baltimore.

yeah, good luck with that.

and congrats to two of my teachers this summer that both won bikini contests.  I’m so proud lol.  rumor is that videos do exist (and possibly saved to my hard drive, backed up on another computer, and multiple flash drives… and in the possession of all my male friends).

This is one of those “you have way too much time on your hands Jason” posts.  The other day I was toasting some bread, and I left it unattended.  I came back, and it was taking forevs, so I paniced when I realized that the knob had been turned on the front from my usual setting.  end result, burnt toast.

But the dial was only turned to 4…. and I usually keep it at a setting of 2 1/2 (out of 7 total settings).  My two brain synapses left fired at once, and I figured, well, if 4 is bad, why the hell does it go to 7???

After a quick trip to get a loaf of white bread, we now have this blog.

exhibit A is the controller of my toaster.  Notice, the dial goes from 1 to 7.  And there are settings for frozen, bagel, etc.  This rules out the “you big dummy, it goes to 7 for frozen shit like eggos.”  It clearly has a toast button, and I used that setting, and that setting only, for my little experiment.

7 settings. clearly pressed "toast" button.

so on to the fun.  In order, I toasted a slice of bread, from 1 thru 7, and plated it next to the dial.  Somewhere between 2 and 3 is where I like my toast.

setting 1. still as white as me.

setting 2. getting there.

setting 3. good toast.

setting 4. getting crispy.

Dear lord, why… WHY did I think it would be a good idea to watch “Knowing.”  alone.  at night.  with the lights turned off.

I wanted to see this film in the theater, and instead waited for the dvd (like seemingly every movie these days).  Right up my alley… 6th Sense-esque.

or so I thought.

so I guess our 7 word or less review is:

Grusome. Scary. What the Fuck Was That?!

I’m still giving it 3 Pomeranians out of 5 though.  but man, the movie sure didn’t go where I thought it was going.  at all.

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to demonstrate how little game I have as I mentioned in a previous post, I was driving the beamer to the studio yesterday, and I pulled up to a light, windows down, with music loud (but not all ghetto-make-shit-in-your-house-shake-loud).  and I see a couple decent lookin’ chicks pull up next to me out of the corner of my eye.

Now given the type of beamer I drive (no 3 series here!), I could have one eye and five ears and chicks would still give me the time of day… but anyways I was listening to sirius hits one and I forget but something gayish came on (probably that Kings of Leon[??] song or whatever), so I went to quickly change it.  to rap or something urban.  So I went one channel down.  big mistake… landed on the 80s channel, and blasting out of my car speakers came:

“It’s raining men, hallelujah! it’s raining men….”

I just put my head down and mercifully the light turned green.

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and speaking of my baby, I actually looked into whether or not it’s a clunker.  it isn’t.  I was going to take advantage of that idiotic cash for clunkers program, ya know, since you and I are really just buying other people new cars and all… but no dice.  That gas eating monster of an engine I have is somehow still eco-friendly enough to pass muster.

But if they start a “cash for pomeranians” program, I am sooooooooooo there.

I really tried to watch the So You Think You Can Fast Forward finale tonight.  But i found myself skipping ahead a full hour and 15 minutes before catching up and being forced to watch the remainder.

hey, at least I got to see the addiction dance, and the tit cancer one (anyone else think it was weird when they said “breast cancer” and the whole crowd cheered?)… could’ve done without the kangaroo dancer or the shitty little kids… but all in all, it was fine for the 45 mins i saw.

and yeah, i was pleased with who won.

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I’m in desperate desperate need of a hair cut.  My hair is like tom cruise long (well tom cruise-esque… if you add in a dozen cowlicks, an ever receeding hairline, and a smattering of grays… and that whole body thing attached to it below commonly referred to as “no hot”).  I haven’t had my hair this long in years.  i think the dog thinks I’m one of his kind now.

and this isn’t some superstitious thing like back in january and february (where I had a full beard because I refused to shave until I had a losing day in the market).  This time I’m just lazy; or really hoping that the mop on my head turns into something magical.  which it won’t.  but i can dream.

I think I’m holding out for this place I saw in the paper called Sports Clips.  Where they supposedly have nothing but plasmas with sports on, and ricidulously hot chicks who cut your hair and end it up with a neck/shoulder massage (happy ending please?!?!).

It’s in severna park.  and I’m all the way in linthicum.  that’s too far.  hell, the royal farms 3/4 of a mile from my house is too far these days.

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and did I mention my location?  Well fear not internet stalkers!  I got a nice little letter in the mail from the county zoning commission.  Figuring someone finally complained about the little fortress I’ve built on the corner, I gave them a call since they didn’t give any details.

turns out, after i dunno how many years of this bs, they are going to renumber my house.  I will of course not mention said house number here, but to give you an example of how things used to be, if the houses were lettered, and they logically went A thru Z down a street… my street was lettered A B C A B Z Y X W… 5.

so whatever decade they finally do take this action (and I’m holding out for them footing the bill for a new address placard) I’ll have to put up with 6 months of missed deliveries due to people used to the old address.  ain’t that some shit?

so fuck you google maps.

Well, the house survived.  But I don’t think I can ever look at a strawberry the same way ever again….

so onto reality tv.  SYTYCD tonight finally felt… epic.  Throw out that lame jive, and I was actually excited for this season.  oh oops, it was the next to last show.  I guess there’s always next year fall.

and no, I did not vote.  Though if I wanted anyone to win, it would be the hot matrix chick (yeah she totally looked like the french dude’s girl in the matrix movies), or brandon.  Sorry Gene Kelly and girl-who-needs-to-tan.

fantastically I get to see them October 15th as they roll into baltimore.  have I mentioned that my “usual” seats quadrupled in price this year?  eeks.  I guess the show is catching on… and if i want the tix, I’ll have to work an extra half hour next week or something.  woe is me.

how the hell did I get so addicted to Big Brother???!!!