Happy Birthday to you,
you live in a zoo,
you look like a fox,
and you smell like one too!

Captain Parm has survived (somehow) to the age of 3 as of today.

He celebrated by finding and chasing a chipmunk in the yard this morning.  he was relentless.  didn’t help the chipmunk was somehow dumber than him, and rather than escape, it ran ’round and ’round til it collapsed on some bricks.  at this point it was so frightened it froze, and started frantically trying to dig… through the brick.  I could have picked the damned thing up if I wanted to (check the twitpic for how close I got to it, complete with action shot of it trying to dig).

Even Isabella sent him an email today:

From:  Mom
Date:  Tuesday, September 29, 2009  10:28 AM
To:  Jason
Subject:  Captain Parm

Hey Bro,
Happy 3rd Birthday!
Love,
Sis Isabella

Sadly I will have to delay his annual birthday shopping spree to Petco/smart until this weekend because of work, and work (studio).  But I was kind enough to arrange for the neighbors to watch the rat tonight while I’m out.  Don’t want the little guy spending his bday alone (insert “awwwwwwww” here).

Technically he’s old enough in dog years to drink… but I’ll leave that up to his doggie friends to take him out for that (if they’re reading this, i’ll help spring for the limo).  I’m too old.

Until I got there, all the studio needed was frickin’ sharks…

We had a badassed laser system put in our main studio… one of those that rivals any you see in a club.  colors, patterns, movement to the music.

and then I turned it on to test it.

and it shot me in the eye.

imagine a thousand laser pointers focused on your eye.  it shot lasers everywhere.  there was nowhere safe.  what was originally thought to be cool turned into a blinding torture system.

i had adam try it  from every angle.  above, below, to the side.  from the back it bounced off the mirrors.  and still shot you in the eye.

bye bye fancy laser system with your lawsuits.    Hello fancy LED (retina-safe) system.  i hope.

*

Last night (Friday) i was finally home for once.  consider it dvr catch up time.  It didn’t help that every show was a 2 hour premier.  The dog, who I thought would be excited for me to be home, instead checked himself out and went to bed at 8.  loser.

After a marathon of judge judies, Fringe, and the like, I’m still not caught up.

But the report card is mixed to say the least:

Heroes:  Sucks.  screw the asian duo and their silly storylines.  No way this series gets picked up for another season.  ratings were horrible.

House:  Fantastic.  Hilarious first half hour, followed by 1 1/2 hours of the usual drama.

Biggest Loser:  suckage.  fatties getting thin, so far without any compelling story lines.

Flash Forward:  entirely good, and if there was any doubt, cool ending.  you’re welcome those of you I pushed into watching.

Glee:  I love you.

Survivor:  Brilliant.  Love the new villain.  soooo worth watching.  Kendra and I are now survivor buddies after our stint with Big Brother this summer.

Fringe:  bangin’.  actually screamed a tiny bit at one point (dog left the room).

my comedies (2 1/2 men, big bang, christine, etc):  All par for the course so far.

Nothing to drop.  yet.  Too invested in Heroes over the years, so might as well watch the series die a slow (fast at this rate) painful death.  I still have crap on the dvr to watch… 2 episodes behind in SYTYCD (hate audtions anyways), haven’t watched Community for this week, and no idea what else is left.

*

Parm would like to inform you that he and I will not be relocating to Aspen anytime soon. (link, new window)

Keeping the tv theme going (and the non-stop posting of videos for a change), I would be remiss if I didn’t say that I am also celebrating the return of new episodes of my guilty pleasure: Judge Judy.  Check out a couple clips of the very first episode of the new season haha:

And also, do yourself a favor and youtubes the internets for the clip of Jimmy Fallon at the emmys tonight.  LOL-with-tears (LOLWT?) funny.

How about some LAMZ stuff yeah?  Yesterday we had the “honor” of performing at the anne arundel county fair.  And with the flipvid (sorry new ipod vid) I took some rather unspectacular, shaky, non-centered, poor sound quality suckage video.  enjoy:

here are my little child prodigies… who just finished this dance friday night. this will be their (very winning) competition dance come early next year:

And my adult hip hoppers… people like you and me, swear:

We were proceeded by belly dancers… and followed by a 16 year old country singer. One of her songs was titled “Don’t Drop Your Pants.” Only at the county fair. we’re hitting the big time baby!

When I usually post about Hell week, I’m referring to work.  But next week will be hell week for my DVRs.  Yes, it’s my favorite time of the year… Fall (tv).  The first week is always the worst as you have to tape a million new things and then weed out the shitastic shows (I’m looking at you Hank!).

Technically it started this week, given that I was cracking up at The Office last night, not to mention Community (I LOLed 3 timez, STFU LMAO WTF etc).  Check out how busy my little recorders are gonna be to start:

Mondays:

Tuesdays:

Wednesdays:

Thursdays:

Friday, Saturday, & Sunday:

soooooooooo not chart worthy.

of course now that I’m done putting all that in pretty chart form, I realize I didn’t use a single 10pm slot, but you’re welcome anyway.

Keep in mind this list doesn’t include the cable regulars like Top Chef, Hung, Hoarders, & Pawn Stars.

Most looked forward to NEW show?  by miles Flash Foward.  man I hope it doesn’t suck.

Most looked forward to returning show?  Glee bitches!  If that doesn’t cast a doubt on my sexual orientation, I don’t know what will.

Potential Sleeper?  Hank with Kelsey Grammer.  Loved “Back To You.”  But sadly, so did only 3 other people.  cancelled after one season.  “Hank” gets a good time slot, so there’s a chance it survives if it doesn’t suck.

(edit:  not sure wtf that last sentence was.  I read it while proofreading, and thought to myself: was I really trying to be all serious about this fall preview shit?  oh my)

Show that made it’s way into my viewing habits thanks to summer reruns?  The Big Bang Theory!  Words cannot describe how much I love love love this show.  How much do I love this show?  Glad you asked.  I don’t even fast foward through the theme song.  now that’s just crazy talk!

So apparently there’s some celebrity chef for dogs… chef michael.  He puts out these tiny little 3 oz. cans of dog food that probably cost a bazillion dollars (and you’re supposed to give your dog a can for every 2 1/2 lbs… so it’s adds up quick).  Anyways, my mom picks up a couple, and gives me one for the ratdog.  I reluctantly took it, and waited until last night to give it to him.  The following is the reply from my mom and the email I had sent:

_________________________________________________________

Sorry!  Stick with the sensitive food.

Mom

You get a new product review today!

Silly me replaced my ipod nano a couple weeks back, and wouldn’t you know, Apple comes out with a newer one Wednesday (I’m usually on top of this sorta thing, damn it all).  Now, I’m no apple fanboy, but the new ipod has a fancy smancy video camera… so yeah, had to get one.

As an owner of two flipvids (neither of which I really use for jasoncam, oops haha) I figured I might as well toss ‘em… but after further review (starring Captain Parm), well… see for yourself:

Image quality seems good enough… but the sound… oh the sound.  You have to hold the damned thing perfectly still and not shift your hands at all… otherwise, scratchy scratchy!

Not to mention, no zoom.  of course, that will probably be a new feature on the next ipods that they’ll no doubt release next month.

Plusses:  90% smaller than a flipvid cam.
Negatives:  world’s most sensitive microphone apparently built as part of the case, no zoom, and the “easy editing and one-click-upload-to-youtube” software?  well, you have to own a mac.  biatches.

That said, I have a cheap superly awesome flipvid for sale ))

*

and as an aside, my mom totally stumped me the other day as I was talking about the dog.  As you read I referred to him as Captain Parm.  Well, of course, after me calling him this forevs to countless people, she thinks to ask the question, “How did he get to be a captain?”

And I had no fucking clue.  Maybe I’ll demote the rat to Corporal next time.

I have spent every night the past week (save for FDIC Friday) at “Lamz” registering kids & adults alike.  which means i work from 8am til 4 or 430, then go in to the studio and play nicey nice til 9 or so.  come home, acknowledge the dog’s existence, then off to bed.

The whole deal is pretty tiring, if not down right exhausting, but there are a few shining moments (like unmarried MILF Monday, or Jailbait Thursday) that make it all worth it.

Take for instance “the model.”  Had a girl come in with her mom and grandma to sign up for classes.  Before we could really get much out other than a hello, the mom launches into how her daughter was a competitive figure skater, and is also a model.  fine by me.

so mom says “we want to sign her up for classes that will keep her fit & trim, ya know?”

I am of course chomping down on my third Subway chocolate chip cookie at this time.  Unable to help myself as I bit into the gooey chocolate bits of heaven, I piped up and asked the model “so I guess you don’t want a cookie then?”

Her look was that of a whimper and sadness… kinda the same look parm gives me when I beat him.  But Grandma jumps in “oh no, it’s not that she doesn’t want a cookie… she just can’t have a cookie.”  poor girl.  but at least she isn’t going to get fat anytime soon (always looking at the positives I am).

we send them off to some (very nearby) chairs to fill out the paperwork, all the while I’m sure to keep up the chit chat.  One, chick is a model… two, they basically came in with a blank check and were like “fill me out! fill me out!”

So Brandee is trying to help them with what classes to take.  Keep in mind we’re looking for not so much a style of dance, but just one that will keep the weight off.  She suggests the breakin’ class… the one where people come out dripping from sweat.  That’s the kinda class that will make her think twice about throwing up her food after she eats it… she’ll need all the energy she can get.

Brandee’s main selling point of breakin’, other than the work out, is the teacher Jeff.  Movie star, blah blah blah.  Pay attention, because this is the part that makes my day week month.

Brandee: “She HAS to take breakin’.  It’s a good workout, the teacher Jeff was in the movie Step Up 2, and (now whispering) he is HOT!”

oh here is where it gets good.

the Mom doesn’t skip a beat, immediately looks at me, and says “so that’s Jeff?”

oh I love you model mom.  Welcome to Lamz ))))))