Snowjob
I want to thank all the weathermen (and women) for almost getting me killed 18 times yesterday.
I guess it was an ominous sign when I took the rat out to do #1 & 2 yesterday morning before heading out, and a lone snowflake drifted down before my eyes. No worries though, cuz I had to hit a couple different banks and then drop off something at Lamz. It was only supposed to be A) a light dusting, or B) maybe 2 to 3 inches, but not til the afternoon.
After bank number one, I headed down to pasadena, and it was suddenly blizzard-like conditions. This was at 10:30am. Bank two involved one turn off a major highway, and up and then down a hill. I almost deposited my car in their lobby.
Please remember that my car sucks ass. It’s backwheel drive, and a monster engine. That means rain is even a problem. Throw in a nice powdery snow that sticks immediately because it’s negative 15 f’n degrees outside, and I’m screwed.
So I got to Lamz, and by this time it’s really starting to come down. I checked the forecast again, and they reiterated it was only gonna be at most a couple inches. I even saw a couple salt trucks sitting by the sides of the road ready to go.
By this time it’s 11am when I get there, and I slid sideways into the parking spot. Instead of being smart and dropping off a couple things and heading home, I thought it best to wait it out. I mean, by 2pm they’d have the roads all salted and clear right? right?? I drive all major roads home (100 and 97), and those would have to be touched first.
So 2:30 comes, and it looks like shit out. snow everywhere, still coming down, and I have no choice but to venture home.
I survived mountain road, and feel glad I’m approaching route 100. A pretty major road in these parts. I get to 100… and it’s the same. Just a couple packed down tire tracks to slide along in. I had my own Winter Olympics Luge event.
But I manage. I breathe a sigh of relief as I approach 97, because no way in hell that hasn’t been touched. oh sooooo wrong I was. Even worse, as I start to merge into 97 (which only had one passable lane), there was an accident up ahead. at the top of a hill. right before my exit.
and my nightmare comes true. People stopped. If I don’t keep the car going with some momentum, I’m stuck. With no choice, the morons in front of me all come to a halt, and I’m forced to follow. They start to go… and I don’t.
I sat there and spun. and spun. and spun. I made marginal progress. and we’re literally talking an inch at a time. I flipped on my hazards as people behind me were stacking up. Yeah, I got to be THAT GUY.
I even started rocking back in forth in my seat. Like that was gonna help.
Inch, by inch, I slowly crept forward. I almost gave up about 5 times. I took my seatbelt off twice to get out and ask the cop & towtruck there for the other accident for a hand.
After about 5 to 10 minutes of this (seriously!) I crested the hill and then the car learched forward as it grabbed on to what little traction it could find.
Thank God that for some reason, the airport loop was clear (well, you could at least see the tire tracks to follow were no longer white, but tinted dark from the road peeking out below).
I stupidly took a small side road to get to my house rather than taking a slightly larger, flatter one. Mistake. I got halted at a red light that was, you guessed it, on an incline. I spun again, but not as bad as on 97, and made it through. It was kinda funny though watching people completely avoid my car and keep their distance. They were just waiting for me to wipe out. I just knew the conversations in their vehicles were “There he goes there he goes!! awwwww, damn. thought for sure he lost it that time.”
I even thought about ditching the car at this point and walking home, but I slid on.
I had no vision of even attempting to get up my driveway. So as I carefully slid around the turn, I pointed my car to block my driveway. I got pretty close, and eased the break a little bit. The car skid to the right, finally coming to a rest as it slammed into the curb.
but i was home. safe & sound. I have now decided to buy some used 4wd vehicle to tool around in. I’ve had it with taking the beamer out in this crap.
But it could’ve been worse. You could have been like my dad who tried to go down his (steep) driveway, and end up almost launching yourself into a ravine:
don’t worry, he was fine. just a little (or lot) pissed. Bonus partial shot of a wiener dog checking out the damage!
